Is pink my X'mas color?

Merry X'mas and Happy Year 2007!!

It seems that I always hang out with Karen (cousin) and Ron during X'mas eve. The past two X'mas eves since I moved from Texas, I spent my time with friends and family for X'mas. I was in New York with my aunt and cousins two years before. My next year must be in Taiwan. Then it comes new year. My most unforgetable New Year was probably year 2005 at a bar in New York. Counting down the time and celebrating with champine, it was 100 times exciting when so many people celebrated with you yelling out "Happy New Year" as the TV screen showing neon, x'mas tree, and thousand silver sprinkle confetti (do you know they used 3tons of confetti this year in NY) piecese falling like snowing.

I think of going to different countries for X'mas. That should be fun. The other day I was writing X'mas cards sending out to Japan, England, Norway, Texas, and Taiwan. By the time I ran out of my cards, I still have many friends that I want to write to. My x'mas cards always becomes New Year greeting card for friends. Now I am still writing some friends through email for happy new year. Finding a balance point in work, school and life is just "too fun".

X'mas cake contest!

Merry X'mas!! It is almost year 2007 and I am not in New York. Coming home with my heavy body, I am bitten at work today! One discharge, one admission, one dementia, one congestive heart failure post operation 2 months, and seems all of them were confused. Haven't worked day shift for so long, I think I stood all the way from 7am to 4pm skipping lunch.

Well, I have to admit that I did not get enouth sleep a night before "partying" with firends and family. It was fun. After working at restaurant for 4 hours, went back home for the X'mas party with M's family and my cousin. The cake contest was very competitive!

Cake 1 was March the Penguin; cake 2 was the guinea pig; cake 3 was boy and girl snow angels. And the winner was " March of the penguin". X'mas was nice to have friends and family together. Last year, I was new to this event. This year there were three new people. One is from Spain, one is from France, and Alex was born this two month ago so he is new too. After dinner it was board game time. I always enjoy playing board game ever since I came to the State and play it the very first year when I came and played with my ex's family. It has a magic power to draw people together even you don't know each other and it is fun. Happy time is always short. Working at 7 in the morning, I pulled myself out of the chair and went sleep and saw it was already 2 o'clock. I was pretty sure that I was alert and thinking a lot of things of this past year.

Holiday season workload

It is almost X'mas day. Work has been pretty nice. Today we only have 3 patients for each nurse. It seems everybody wants to go home and spend time with family. If work can be like this everyday, how wonderful is that. Compare to 6 or 7 patients, I think 3 to 4 is best nurse to patient ratio. I like working in the new floor. It has been about a month after the renovation of my floor. Things seem getting better. We have more computers and the new feelings though people still complain.

Recently, I have been working a lot. It is during school break and I wanted to spend more time working. I am enjoying the holiday light workload. After the holiday, I bet we will have more surgical patients. Not only work in the hospital, there seems so many that I have to do such as moving, eating, cooking, shopping, getting to know new people and more things to do except going back to school... I don't know if I will be ready any time soon.

At work, we have almost elderly patients. Sometimes, I really hope I won't get old because it is really sad to see how insecured and confused they are then think back of myself when I get old. Today, this lady keep asking me what time is it whenever she wakes up. Sometimes, they keep asking yor name and I will always surronder to demantia patient. I feel bad when they keep saying thing out of the box. (I am going to the mall in a minute. Would you like to go with me ORZ)......She could not remember she is in the hospital and she uses pottie chair every hours. I need to find a job that will keep my spirit up. Maybe I just need a vacation to Hawaii....

All pass!!

The bottomline is "EVERBODY PASSED THE CLASS". Whew! when I got this message in my school email account from the instructor, I felt such a relief for all these few months' school work. This one class especially worried me. I felt so weak and powerless those two weeks during the final exam period. Five classes and job don't get quite along in deed. But I think my problem is that my worry about immigration status worsen my balance a big time.

I remember that when I was doing the physical assesment final exam for lab section. Mrs. Hart wanted me to come back the follow week to do it again, my heart was just falling down the the 18th level hell. I thought I was failed. So I had another paper test to take and the lab exam to worry. G was a girl that I felt who could be my friend from this program. She was very nice and sweet, blond hair and blue eye. We started talking when we both were going to run marathon. She is always nice to me and talk to me. Some girls (most of the girls) in the class are very sorolity type looking to me. I am not into that very much!! You know who could be your friend by instinct thats what I believe. I did not know who I could ask for to be my partner for the 2nd time lab test so I asked G and she said yes right away. That was a very strong bonding right there since we are just classmates. So I studied, practiced plus worked at the hospital. So many time I felt I was almost collapsed and broke down. I told myself thoudsand time be strong and don't let them get you! On my lab test day, I just did what's in my mind from head, face, eye, ear, nose, neck, thoracic, cardio, neuro, muscloskeleton, and vascular system. When I finised in 40 minutes, I was like a man waiting for his sentence in the court. Mrs. Hart shown me my grade of 99% and then she hugged me. I tried to hold my tears and broken voice to not let anybody found that I was weak. But that was really the most wonderful moment of this semester. I made a friend, G, and I feel love from that hug from Mrs. Hart.

School has been out for about a week and I am not ready to go back yet. In order to go back for another "hell" period, I need more time for a break to prepare myself. However, it seems time doesn't wait for people. There are so many thing are going on and things that I need to put on my shoulder in my life.

For The Love of Pete

Accidently, I found this pet store on my way to work. Friday, I got off from my class early and was window shopping at the boutique street next to work. This was one of the stores that I went in. They have a lot of pet stuffs from dog treats, food, blankets, beds, to toys. It was interesting and surprising. The interesting thing is they sell various pet "gears". The surprising thing is the cost. Then I observed the people who came in the store and wonder if they were all relatives of Paris Hilton. Then I thought of her Chiuaua. The clerk and the owner were very nice. I did have fun looking around the store. There was this lady with her infancy son sitting in the baby trolley and her golden retriver sitting outside the store. She bought a pet toy ball that will light up in different colors when touched. It was funny when she said that it was actually for her son then she put it in her son's hands. I think maybe it works better with children than pets!

Their website are well-design and user-friendly. (www.theloveofpete.com) Since I don't have any pet, I guess I save a lot of money.

Nursing philosophy: From Novice to Exper to Mentor

From novice to expert to mentor: how Patricia Benner’s theory would be important in my future practice as an advanced practice nurse.

When I first learned and heard about Patricia Benner’s theory from one of the classmates in this course, I felt deeply that this is the theory that I would like to research more and apply in my future practice as an advanced practice nurse or a in-hospital nurse. In one of the articles that I found there is a quote saying “The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires.” From just reading this quote, it has inspired me enough wanting to learn how to use Patricia Benner’s theory guidelines and become a good mentor in my future practice. My foreign status bothered me ever since I came to the States either being a student or a nurse. I came here a long way to become a RN. It was not a light journey at all. From taking Commission on Graduates of Foreign Nursing School (CGFNS) qualify test, English language proficiency test to the never ending waiting process, I am glad that it has turned out to a happy ending. Now I can finally tell family and friends that I am doing well. I realized that it is very important to have a mentor to guide you through the dark road. As a foreign nurse, I do have quite a lot of things to learn such as culture differences, languages (slangs), believes and systematic differences etc. Nursing is a caring “business”. Our customers are most of the time sick people; our products are performances and nursing skills . We deal with flesh human beings not machines. Being a competent nurse is very important either in the professional aspect or improving people’s health. Therefore, this is why I choose Patricia Benner’s model of from novice to expert to mentor to be my topic because it would help me and other prospect nurses to become competent in a more efficiency way.

This is the first paragraph of my paper for a class that I am taking now and I got 100%. Well, because this is only a one-credit class so the instructor gives high grade to everybody. What surprised me was when I got an email from my teacher, I was touched. The email is full of encouragements and understandings even it was a short email. I was inspired. I never dislike nursing but also never really devoted myself enough in nursing. After all this years' on and off working and studying to become a "good" nurse has helped me grown a lot, especially during the most important two stages in my life. The first one, I would call it "broken family" period when I was 12 to 18 years old. After dad decided to close his company, mom went to the US working in the restaurant with aunt and uncle. Dad went too the later year. Three of us were left living in an apartment one floor above my grandparents. The other period, I would call it "life direction" period which is happening here in the state under a situation to become an "American". Now I think back and found that nursing really has "saved my life" in time from both traumatized-life stages. Who says life is like riding a rollercoaster going up and down?! It is so true. But I think I have reached the age too dangerous to ride one. I might have a heart attack!!