Angry Dance - First Flamenco Class Ever

I finally had my flamenco dance class. It was really fun clagging on the floor. The instructor explained to us the origin of flamenco was during a dark period in Spain. So when dancers dance Flamenco the emotion should be firm and kind of "angry". I kind of enjoy dance with a proud attitude.

As the day coming closer to get my immigration paper work done, I got eager then ever before to go on a vacation out of the US. One of the country that I want to go is Spain. Spanish culture has such an influence here in the state. I mean just from knowing that half of Texas population speak spanish. I think it would be a brilliant idea to speak and learn Spanish well. But then, I am also thinking about Italy too. I hope this vacation coming soon. Spain, Italy, France, Norway, anywhere is all good as long as I am traveling somewhere.

What a Code Blue!

Monday, I came in to work at 7pm after 2 days off. Everything was going kind of slow and easy and I was expecting a new patient from PACU (Post Anesthesia Care Unit). As everyday work routine, I started to passing medication and checking my patients around 8pm after I got my report from day shift nurse, L.

PACU faxed the report long before I came to work. The patient had bilateral total knee replacement done, a 83 years old female. They called to confirm I have received the faxed-report and told me they were going to send the patient to the floor. I hang up the phone and continued my work at my last medication round on a patient. I heard PACU came up and the family member were all in the room. I thought that I would go down there to check on my new patient as soon as I finished passing medicine in few minutes. Then I heard they broad casting something but did not pay attention to it. As I was talking and watching the patient swallowing pills, I heard C was running like tornado in the hall way opening the storage door getting sliding board. I ran out to the door and asked what was going on. She did not answer. A, came out from another room like I did. We ran after C to the new patient's room. There were already about 20 people in the room. I was shocked when I saw K doing cardiac compression on the bed, Dr. P was directing the whole process, S was giving ambu bag then compress the IV fluid.

WHAT THE HECK......

I jumped into the crowd trying to do things that in the every minute period was so crucial to the patient. The EKG monitor shown a single straight line, then epi and nor epi were given to the patient still no pulse. Cardiac compression was still performing by K. Then withing couple minutes, we saw the heart beats on monitor. No body said anything, but I believed we all relief when we saw that wavy line on the monitor.

HOW DID THESE ALL HAPPENED IN ABOUT 10 MINUTES....

L, the nurse technician went into the room to take vital signs when PACU nurses came to the floor with the patient. She couldn't get BP, pulses and the patient was unresponsive. She was shaking and running to the charge nurse. When the operator was announcing the "code blue room 207", I missed it while passing medicine in the other room. PACU nurses dashed back to the room when they heard the announce on their way to PACU. That was how it happened so quick. PACU nurse said the patient was still talking to them in the elevator. It seemed that they had some trouble in PACU with that patient. Her blood pressure was low down there...

After this code blue, I think there are a lot I can do better. I am just glad that she did not die on me......In the medical field, uncertainty is such a trick.

Woody and me.

Woody is not my dog. But I would like to have a dog like him. In legend, Woody flew from Minisota to Richmond, Virginia to become a lovly pet of a wealthy family. When I first saw him, he had all my attention. He is probably the cutiest puppy I have ever seen. He is my type of dog. Curly messy hair, long ears, eyes with hair covered, and figure of Teddy bear, all these have let him won my heart. A, my roommate described him like a little lamb.

Virginia Beach - Part II (Yoly from Colombia)

I met Y seven years ago in West Virginia. The very first year I came to the State for school. International student house was a house that fulled of laughters, joys, romances, and friendships with strangers from all over the world. It is really hard to believe that we are still friends after 7 years. In these years, we only corresponded through emails. She is in Colombia and I am in the US.

With a week's off from M's visit from Texas, Y came two weeks ago and stayed with me along my 4 other roommates. It seemed the house suddently became international student house again. In these 7 years, we all been through a lot in live. Y works a good job in Colombia and also a licensed Psychologist. And me with 3 master degrees ( not that I am really proud of but is did mean some kind of achievment to me though?) and in the process of becoming American, we have good life.

Working full-time, I made some plans to spend time with Y and my friends here. We cruised through Richmond to Willamsburg and Virginia Beach (yes, 2nd time in a month). Although, we did not have coconut trees or hot six-packed muscle men to entertain us but all has been good. Sea breeze, waves, blue sky, sand and a ocean front hotel room with just a minute's walking distance to the beach, what can we ask more for life.

Our footprints were also left at James River with two little good looking "men". I guess that was my substitution for six-packed muscle men. It was just so hilarious when I saw they looking at me taking off my cloth with bathing suit underneath. They are definately curious. I just thoutht that was funny.

That was my "vacation" with friends this summer (yeah with over 40 hours' work and two summer classes going on). Wish my real vacation coming soon. I am ready to explor...

Virginia Beach - Part I

This May is really a friend's month for me. M came all the way from Texas visiting me in the middle of May. With working night shift in the hospital, I think maybe it is kind of good that I can spare some day time with friend coming a long way to visit me. I love friends! Ever since I work like owl, my schedule and social life have been really living like vampire. While everybody sleep, I am up; while all my friends up doing things, I sleep. To end this curse, the only salvage for me is the day when I get my permenant resident document.

M is such a sweet friend to me. We use to hike together, go out together, and talk about a lot of things out of our mind very much. This time she came to visit me after 2 years leaving in different cities from each other. We were very excited to get the same old feeling back again. In order to be a "good" host, I was kind of planning where to take her to. So I came up with some places that would be potential "must-see" site near Richmond, Virginia. The only exception would be Kings Dominion. I think we have grown to old to take the risk of heart attack riding roller coaster. Sunshine, find white sand, waves, and "muscle men" sounded good to both of us. Definately, it would be a worth site to spend some time at. We stayed at the oceanfront hotel with all our pleasant heart.

Then we went to Washington,DC. Of course, this is also a must-see site at least one time in everybody's life. Best way to get around a big metropolitan would be riding the subway. We parked the car at subway parking log then took the blue line to white house, memorial momument, china town, and capital.

Happy time is always short. M stayed for 4 nights then back to Texas. I have another colorful page in my life book with M.

My talisman

My little purple teddy bear key chain is my talisman. This morning when I came home and hang it on the wall, I took a second look and thought about this little thing has been with me for almost 4 years. It was a hot summer in europe as traveling in England with almost empty purse. Usually even summer time it is cool but the year I went they got heat wave. I thought I was lucky bucause I don't like cold weather.

The little bear only cost me 1 pound and it seems last forever and always brings back my memory of England. I was a student back then with not much money to shop around those boutique shops or fancy department stores. However, I did window shop at Harold department store in London. Purple teddy was found in the local farm market in Cambridge while I was visiting a friend going to school there. Before I went, my friend in London thought that I was probably going to stay in a castle dormantary with my friend. And of course, it was not a dormantary in castle.

While enjoying hearing queen's language all around me, it was worth engouth the trip itself. With not knowing a lot about Cambridge University, I was "Alice wondered the world". In the two weeks, I think I have left my footprints all over the campus. I found some interesting shops, events such as folk dance and local market. That was how I found my little teddy. The grandmom like lady was one among the market carts. I just thought those bears hanging there were so cute in different baby colors and bought two. So my teddy has been living with me ever since. He has been my taleman like the one from the movie Waterloo Bridge.

Tango, Salsa and Flamenco

Cheer leading was probably the very first dance form that I had. Whenever I think about going dancing some crazy nights, I always think about how I came to the point loving dancing so much. I guess if I tell any of my friends after college, nobody would believe that I was a little cheer leader in elementary school. And I tell you, it was very competitive. Without a doub, now I still dance like a cheer leader sometimes.

Without music, dancing is like a bird without singing. Any dance has certain music theme to go with: Fast, slow, high pitch, low pitch, different instruments, and more. I have always drawn to fast beat music. For me I think fast music usually connects to happier mood and spirit. Maybe that's why I like dancing and I was a cheer leader. I think music and dance has helped me live through the good time and bad time in life.

Recently, I started to like flamenco and tango. My aunt and I used to watch dancing with the stars when I visit her in New York. The movie "Moulin Rouge" sings el Tango de Roxanne while "Phantom of the Opera" ryhms it too. The song was a key that opened my heart toward tango and flamenco. In Taiwan, I knew the Flamenco long ago. There was a legend about a female dentist who gave up all her career and fortunes for Flamenco. She is now a very famous flamenco dancer in Taiwan and is very successful in performance. (http://www.flamenco.com.tw/)

The musical "Chicago" another my favorate (West End Story the next) broadway show, taught me how sexy(evil) a women could be when they dance. Once a friend said to me, when you dance flamenco you fake a lot which I don't agree with him. They say " you don't see good flamenco, you feel it." So even I never dance flamenco yet, I believe that it is a very "emotional" dance. There are a lot I would learn from dancing it. Hopefully, I will be able to go to Spain soon.....

Misha

This is my #1 boyfriend. I always think that there is also some kind of special connection between people and pets. There are three cats in the house and Misha is my all time favor cat whenever I come home I just call him. The marvelous thing that makes him so speical to me is that he is a musical cat. Sometimes, I think he dances with the piano and music. H is the landlady and teaches piano lessons at home. When she teaches, Misha always pond on the classroom door with his paw to get in to the class. He always wiggles his tail with the music. He is a lovely and funny cat!

Skiing

I almost fell from the chair when I read the previous post. There must be thousands of grammar mistakes I made... Coming back with sored legs and arms from upstate NY, I found that skiing was fun. Unfortunately, it was my first and last time skiing for the season. I had fun skiing with my cousin's family and friends. Usually, I am a pretty thankful person. I treasure friends, family, people and things that I found to be in a harmony status. Balance is the word, I guess would better discribe my philosophy toward life, so does skiing.

Since it was my first skiing experience techinally speaking, Dave, my cousin's husband would felt the most about how a rookie skiier may kill a person. Looking at him lying on snow after the first "blue track" run (yes, not even the black diamond yet) with me, I thought he was dead. As my cousin, after couple runs with her, I think I hurt her knee with crushing into her. I am a crim while skinning.

With almost killing two people, I skied a bit better by the end of the two day ski resort get away over the spring break. It was really a wonderful weekend get away spending time with them sicne we don't really see each other quite often. I have been thinking about relatiohship among people. Sometimes I think it is a very tough and easy lesson in life.

Busy bee life

I am so sick. It is a bad cold that I ever have. With my clinical in school, I deal with kids up to age 18. Feburary, according to my preceptor, is the busiest month of the year. And my bad cold can defintely proof that. It has been over a month since school started and I am really tired of crazy schedule of school and work. I can't even believe myself that I overslept for work. I was upset. So I need a break.

Skiing in upstate New York sounds fun. I have been thinking about going with my cousin in Long Island since X'mas. Finally, it is spring break time and I request off from work. I is almost about 5 years I did snowboaring and skiing in West Virginia. I just hope that my cold will be gone by the time I go skiing. I guess, the busier I am the more fun I want to have.

As for work, just finished basic rhythm training and got my certificate. I felt I was in hell going to class right after work in the hospital. Fortunately, it was only a 6 week course and was begun before school started. But is you ask me what exactly the differences between 1, 2, and 3 degree AV block, I really can not tell. Patients are fun and bad. The fun part is when they get confused, they basically say something just slip out from their lip. The other day, I was changing this lady's dressing. She had a total hip replacement and was in extremly in pain. When I change it she screaming, kicking, and crying muder, but I thought it was a bit funny seeing that. Then she said to me " Is is this some kind of chinese torture?" That was really fun.

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Tax Season already!!

It is really hard to believe that it is tax season already. Unlike previous years, I think this year I will be taxed 10 folds since I am not a student any more. Crunching the numbers just in my head, I have no idea how much tax I need to "donate" to IRS. Thinking of it makeS me chill.

Recently, I have been thinking about a lot of investing plans. There are so many options in the markets: stocks, real estates, mutual funds, internet saving accounts, and 401k that I am interested in. Investment is such a unpreditable subject in life. I think it is very important but cannot breakthrough taking the risk mind set. Changing 401k plan has been on my to do list for almost a month now without put it in action. I have earned money before with mutual fund, so I will probably go back to mutual fund. Franklintempton's small company mutual fund was my pick and I think it is still doing good. However, fidelity has several top mutual funds and internet stock trading that caught my attention. A friend of mine mentioned about the potential of Nigeria's crud oil stock. It is better to do more research before I act. Scary tax season and investment plan! What a fast money dream!

Why Blue Moon?

Blue moon first inplanted in my mind was about two years ago when I was watching a BBC TV series named"Pennies from Heaven". The song " Blue Moon" was played in it and I like the song. Today I was listening to the radio on my way to work and the host was saying that there is a very interesting phenomenone that people found. Usually we only have one full moon of a month. But when there are two full moons in a month. They call it Blue Moon. This makes me think of my reason to chose the name. Maybe I will find more intersting things about blue moon in the future.

I moved again.

I hate moving. It was as I have figured before I moved in with M. Friends are not good to be roommates. She was the landlord and I think it is better for me to buy a house as soon as possible. Dealing with people that I have to compromise without my own choices is much!! But before I will be able to buy my first house, I need to save money for the down payment. Zero down is just too much interests to pay and I don't like to waste my money in that way. So I found a cheapper and seem nice place to stay for a short period until I buy a house. Hopefully this is a good way to save money.

Six girls under one roof could be fun and war. I think I will find out soon. The owner is one of the six, she teaches piano at home. One girl is a lawyer, one girl is from paraguy and she is a nanny. One is a yoga inststructor. And I am the nurse. The owner has three cats. So there is really not a lot of space in the room. After moving, my whole body hurts. I wish I know good message friends.

Ever sicne I came to Virginia and got a job, I have been looking and dreaming about a house by James River. Sometimes, I drove by the river neighborhoods just to see if there are houses for sale. I think it is never to early to look for hourses. My dream house doesn't need to be big but it must be a house with garage. I think I will make this one my new year resolution then. It is really no fun moving places from places.

Is pink my X'mas color?

Merry X'mas and Happy Year 2007!!

It seems that I always hang out with Karen (cousin) and Ron during X'mas eve. The past two X'mas eves since I moved from Texas, I spent my time with friends and family for X'mas. I was in New York with my aunt and cousins two years before. My next year must be in Taiwan. Then it comes new year. My most unforgetable New Year was probably year 2005 at a bar in New York. Counting down the time and celebrating with champine, it was 100 times exciting when so many people celebrated with you yelling out "Happy New Year" as the TV screen showing neon, x'mas tree, and thousand silver sprinkle confetti (do you know they used 3tons of confetti this year in NY) piecese falling like snowing.

I think of going to different countries for X'mas. That should be fun. The other day I was writing X'mas cards sending out to Japan, England, Norway, Texas, and Taiwan. By the time I ran out of my cards, I still have many friends that I want to write to. My x'mas cards always becomes New Year greeting card for friends. Now I am still writing some friends through email for happy new year. Finding a balance point in work, school and life is just "too fun".

X'mas cake contest!

Merry X'mas!! It is almost year 2007 and I am not in New York. Coming home with my heavy body, I am bitten at work today! One discharge, one admission, one dementia, one congestive heart failure post operation 2 months, and seems all of them were confused. Haven't worked day shift for so long, I think I stood all the way from 7am to 4pm skipping lunch.

Well, I have to admit that I did not get enouth sleep a night before "partying" with firends and family. It was fun. After working at restaurant for 4 hours, went back home for the X'mas party with M's family and my cousin. The cake contest was very competitive!

Cake 1 was March the Penguin; cake 2 was the guinea pig; cake 3 was boy and girl snow angels. And the winner was " March of the penguin". X'mas was nice to have friends and family together. Last year, I was new to this event. This year there were three new people. One is from Spain, one is from France, and Alex was born this two month ago so he is new too. After dinner it was board game time. I always enjoy playing board game ever since I came to the State and play it the very first year when I came and played with my ex's family. It has a magic power to draw people together even you don't know each other and it is fun. Happy time is always short. Working at 7 in the morning, I pulled myself out of the chair and went sleep and saw it was already 2 o'clock. I was pretty sure that I was alert and thinking a lot of things of this past year.

Holiday season workload

It is almost X'mas day. Work has been pretty nice. Today we only have 3 patients for each nurse. It seems everybody wants to go home and spend time with family. If work can be like this everyday, how wonderful is that. Compare to 6 or 7 patients, I think 3 to 4 is best nurse to patient ratio. I like working in the new floor. It has been about a month after the renovation of my floor. Things seem getting better. We have more computers and the new feelings though people still complain.

Recently, I have been working a lot. It is during school break and I wanted to spend more time working. I am enjoying the holiday light workload. After the holiday, I bet we will have more surgical patients. Not only work in the hospital, there seems so many that I have to do such as moving, eating, cooking, shopping, getting to know new people and more things to do except going back to school... I don't know if I will be ready any time soon.

At work, we have almost elderly patients. Sometimes, I really hope I won't get old because it is really sad to see how insecured and confused they are then think back of myself when I get old. Today, this lady keep asking me what time is it whenever she wakes up. Sometimes, they keep asking yor name and I will always surronder to demantia patient. I feel bad when they keep saying thing out of the box. (I am going to the mall in a minute. Would you like to go with me ORZ)......She could not remember she is in the hospital and she uses pottie chair every hours. I need to find a job that will keep my spirit up. Maybe I just need a vacation to Hawaii....

All pass!!

The bottomline is "EVERBODY PASSED THE CLASS". Whew! when I got this message in my school email account from the instructor, I felt such a relief for all these few months' school work. This one class especially worried me. I felt so weak and powerless those two weeks during the final exam period. Five classes and job don't get quite along in deed. But I think my problem is that my worry about immigration status worsen my balance a big time.

I remember that when I was doing the physical assesment final exam for lab section. Mrs. Hart wanted me to come back the follow week to do it again, my heart was just falling down the the 18th level hell. I thought I was failed. So I had another paper test to take and the lab exam to worry. G was a girl that I felt who could be my friend from this program. She was very nice and sweet, blond hair and blue eye. We started talking when we both were going to run marathon. She is always nice to me and talk to me. Some girls (most of the girls) in the class are very sorolity type looking to me. I am not into that very much!! You know who could be your friend by instinct thats what I believe. I did not know who I could ask for to be my partner for the 2nd time lab test so I asked G and she said yes right away. That was a very strong bonding right there since we are just classmates. So I studied, practiced plus worked at the hospital. So many time I felt I was almost collapsed and broke down. I told myself thoudsand time be strong and don't let them get you! On my lab test day, I just did what's in my mind from head, face, eye, ear, nose, neck, thoracic, cardio, neuro, muscloskeleton, and vascular system. When I finised in 40 minutes, I was like a man waiting for his sentence in the court. Mrs. Hart shown me my grade of 99% and then she hugged me. I tried to hold my tears and broken voice to not let anybody found that I was weak. But that was really the most wonderful moment of this semester. I made a friend, G, and I feel love from that hug from Mrs. Hart.

School has been out for about a week and I am not ready to go back yet. In order to go back for another "hell" period, I need more time for a break to prepare myself. However, it seems time doesn't wait for people. There are so many thing are going on and things that I need to put on my shoulder in my life.

For The Love of Pete

Accidently, I found this pet store on my way to work. Friday, I got off from my class early and was window shopping at the boutique street next to work. This was one of the stores that I went in. They have a lot of pet stuffs from dog treats, food, blankets, beds, to toys. It was interesting and surprising. The interesting thing is they sell various pet "gears". The surprising thing is the cost. Then I observed the people who came in the store and wonder if they were all relatives of Paris Hilton. Then I thought of her Chiuaua. The clerk and the owner were very nice. I did have fun looking around the store. There was this lady with her infancy son sitting in the baby trolley and her golden retriver sitting outside the store. She bought a pet toy ball that will light up in different colors when touched. It was funny when she said that it was actually for her son then she put it in her son's hands. I think maybe it works better with children than pets!

Their website are well-design and user-friendly. (www.theloveofpete.com) Since I don't have any pet, I guess I save a lot of money.

Nursing philosophy: From Novice to Exper to Mentor

From novice to expert to mentor: how Patricia Benner’s theory would be important in my future practice as an advanced practice nurse.

When I first learned and heard about Patricia Benner’s theory from one of the classmates in this course, I felt deeply that this is the theory that I would like to research more and apply in my future practice as an advanced practice nurse or a in-hospital nurse. In one of the articles that I found there is a quote saying “The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires.” From just reading this quote, it has inspired me enough wanting to learn how to use Patricia Benner’s theory guidelines and become a good mentor in my future practice. My foreign status bothered me ever since I came to the States either being a student or a nurse. I came here a long way to become a RN. It was not a light journey at all. From taking Commission on Graduates of Foreign Nursing School (CGFNS) qualify test, English language proficiency test to the never ending waiting process, I am glad that it has turned out to a happy ending. Now I can finally tell family and friends that I am doing well. I realized that it is very important to have a mentor to guide you through the dark road. As a foreign nurse, I do have quite a lot of things to learn such as culture differences, languages (slangs), believes and systematic differences etc. Nursing is a caring “business”. Our customers are most of the time sick people; our products are performances and nursing skills . We deal with flesh human beings not machines. Being a competent nurse is very important either in the professional aspect or improving people’s health. Therefore, this is why I choose Patricia Benner’s model of from novice to expert to mentor to be my topic because it would help me and other prospect nurses to become competent in a more efficiency way.

This is the first paragraph of my paper for a class that I am taking now and I got 100%. Well, because this is only a one-credit class so the instructor gives high grade to everybody. What surprised me was when I got an email from my teacher, I was touched. The email is full of encouragements and understandings even it was a short email. I was inspired. I never dislike nursing but also never really devoted myself enough in nursing. After all this years' on and off working and studying to become a "good" nurse has helped me grown a lot, especially during the most important two stages in my life. The first one, I would call it "broken family" period when I was 12 to 18 years old. After dad decided to close his company, mom went to the US working in the restaurant with aunt and uncle. Dad went too the later year. Three of us were left living in an apartment one floor above my grandparents. The other period, I would call it "life direction" period which is happening here in the state under a situation to become an "American". Now I think back and found that nursing really has "saved my life" in time from both traumatized-life stages. Who says life is like riding a rollercoaster going up and down?! It is so true. But I think I have reached the age too dangerous to ride one. I might have a heart attack!!

Who wants to live forever

My free movie ticket had been sitting in my car for at least 6 months since April. The hospital give out movie tickets for employees' birthday. I threw away my homeworks, papers and trivia behind and decided to go to see the movie "The Fountain". My favorite atress, actor, and the fairy tale. I was one of the only three audiences in the theater for the first show of the day. On my way to the movie I went by Rite Aid for after thanksgiving shopping and bought something that was totally out of my shopping list. Well since the shop was very close to the theater, I thought. After shopping, I got lost and could not find the theater. I never been to that theater before..... By the time I got in the room, it was so dark and I stumbled in whatever seat I could touch and sit down.

Last night, Sarah Brightman sang "who wants to live forever" on a TV commercial. The music is still in my mind and today I saw the movie about a man who wants to save his beloved wife dying from cancer. He is a doctor who eager to find the cure for his love. The doctor also struggles himself not letting go the truth of death. Time went to 16 century in Spain. The queen's conquistador finding the tree of life. Then time goes to 26 century the man keeping and nursery the tree. Three parallel stories ends in the same chapter of a book. The man finally let go and was set free himself.

The plot is well-organized since I think that it is not easy to run three stories smooth in a movie. The movie is a bit sad but with the happy ending. (thefountainmovie.warnerbros.com)
Well, finished the movie and work...I guess I still have to face my final exams....Ahhhhhh.....